With the recent re-openign of Space Mountain, I started to make a list of top ten attractions that seriously need a refurbishment. I just listened to the Netcot podcast and their list of seven rides that should never be refurbished. And thats why I am presenting the top ten attractions that need a refurbishment.
Number 10: Stitch’s Great Escape
What do you do with a character cute like him? It's Stitch, so KILL HIM!
So you have a good attraction with lots of comedy and theming. However, it is very scary to Disney standards and lots of mothers are complaining at Guest Relations that their kids had been traumatised. This was the sad story of Alien Encounter. And so, a replacement was created. This replacament was the attempt to turn the incredible but scary attraction in a incredible and not scary attraction. What we got was an attraction that still was scary to children, but now, it was one of the most HATED attractions on the Disney Parks history (and still is). So why does this attraction needs a refurbishment? Because the alien-in-the-tube-then-breaks-out concept has been proven to be a complete failure. When it was well-made, it was scary for children. And now that it isn’t well-made, its still scary for children! And that is why Stitch’s Great Escape is the 10th that seriously needs a refurbishment. And for the love of god, Imagineers, dont put Stitch in that replacement!
Number 9: All Attractions Related to Honey I Shrunk the Kids.
Honey, I Shrunk the Originality of the Disney Parks.
Ok, Disney, we get it! You made a good movie! Not only you made a good movie, you had to milk out every penny that movie is worth: so you made 2 sequels! And youre still not happy! You have to stick the old Honey, I Shrunk the Kids theme all around the parks! Disney, face it: in terms of age, the LAST thing you would put in the parks is anything related to Honey, I Shrunk the Kids! That movie is ALMOST 20 years old! 20 YEARS OLD! So what are the attractions that Disney needs to replace? The Honey, I Shrunk the Kids Movie Set Adventure… and the Honey, I Shrunk the Audience movie. Did I mention that the movie has been on Epcot Center for 15 years? Thats right! 15 years!
Also, I doubt that anyone that has been born after 2004 will remember what in the world is Honey I Shrunk the Kids. And I have to ask the same question, Disney: why did you have to replace an original theme with a theme based on a movie, that tend to get outdated and useless? Yes, I am talking about the Imagination pavillion.
Number 8: Pooh’s Playful Spot
If it didnt replace an underwater ride, then it would be ok.
Sometimes I envy Disneyland. I really do. Thats because they have the Submarine Lagoon. Let me say something to you, Disney, I would have waited 10 years for Nemo so we could have the Submarine Voyage. But transform it into a playground- no, thats a complete waste of space. Tell me, Disney, do teens go on that ride? Do adults go on that ride? No! Only kids! Since when, Disney, since when did kids became the most important thing for you? You’ve changed attractions because kids were bored of them? Let me inform you, Disney, that kids get more interested in the aquarium part of the Seas with Nemo & Friends pavillion than the actual ride. And that is why Pooh’s Playful Spot should be refurbished.
Number 7: The Indiana Jones Stunt Show Spectacular
If only that explosion could destroy the entire theater...
But, wait, Stratofarius, you just said that Disney shouldnt do rides based on movies, because they become outdated and useless! Well, I was talking about Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, but this is Indiana Jones, folks! You maybe never saw any of the movies, but you sure do recognize the silhouette of Indiana, don’t you? Now, the problem with this show is that it has been on since the opening of Hollywood Studios. It is 20 years old, and its always the same thing. It doesnt have that “re-ride” factor that most of the rides have. How about you destroy this thing and put the good ol’ Indiana Jones Adventure thats been thrilling audiences over at Disneyland and is still loved?
Number 5: Journey into Imagination with Figment
Hey, Figment, how about you pick that pencil and stick it up Eric Idle's a... nose?
This. This. Over nine thousand times this. If someone asked me: “Why do people still visit the Imagination pavillion?” The answer is: Because it lives in the shadow of its former self.
What? No. Not Journey into YOUR Imagination.
Yes, the original Imagination pavillion. It was perfect and it became, together with Horizons, one of the most missed pavillions from Epcot Center. And if you dont believe me, think- the Figment and Dreamfinder ride and pavillion was there for 15 years, and it was one of the most visited rides. And now, whats the wait time for the ride? 5 minutes. And you can’t barely see lots of people on ImageWorks. Theyre there for Figment. And, Disney, give them more Figment.
Number 4: Dinosaur
Its a blast! From the past! And it uses the exact same track as Indiana Jones Adventure!
I want you to take a deep breath, and look into my eyes. Now, answer me: do you remember the Dinosaur movie? No? Another example of the outdated movie thing. We all learned the lesson: if it isn’t a classic movie franchise (like Indiana Jones or Star Wars), it isn’t going to work. So why is this attraction still called “Dinosaur”? Will there be any difference in changing it back to “Countdown to Extinction”? You can keep the corny pre-show with Bill Nye the Science Guy (I guess thats him), but, please, Disney, just give me back my old Countdown to Extinction!
Number 3: Ellen’s Universe of Energy
This pavillion is full of energy... for failure!
I dont live in America, thats for sure, but I see Ellen everytime. I follow her on Twitter. I saw her show on Youtube and lots of other things, and I’ll say it: she is a great host for the Universe of Energy pavillion.
Ellen is cool. The Diorama is cool. The rest? Not.
Jeopardy? Hum, outdated, maybe? Bill Nye the Science Guy? Outdated.
I’ll just say it in simple, big and bold words: REPLACE EVERYTHING, EXCEPT ELLEN AND THE DIORAMA.
Number 2: Enchanted Tiki Room – Under New Management
*craw* GO AWAY! *craw*
I think Disney went a bit franchise crazy in the 90′s. With some few exceptions (I love you, Spaceship Earth ’94), most of the attractions added on the parks during that decade were based on Disney characters or movie franchises (and I love you too, Splash Mountain). This? This is one of the worst ideas. Reasons?
1. Its an original Walt show. Created by Walt and designed by Walt with help from the Imagineers. Its his memory thats engraved on the show.
2. Iago and Zazu just seem to stick out of the theme. Maybe thats because they’re cartoony?
And at the beginning, it sounded like a good idea: but even kids don’t like this show! Disney needs to understand that its not because a cute character is on the sign, the kids will be pouring in.
And the number one attraction that needs to be refurbished is…
Number One: Epcot’s Theme
Thats right.
I love you.
I can’t understand: the old Future World pavillions had all a cohesive theme. But whats the problem with Disney?
So the refurbishment that needs to be applied to Epcot’s theme is simple:
- Get all the pavillions to have a single cohesive theme: to educate, to entertrain, to informate and to transformate.
- Change the name to Epcot Center.
So this was my Top 10 list. Pretty big, eh? Thanks for reading!
